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The best scenes, what Steven Berkoff should do next and what he should never do.

Best scene in a Berkoff play

• the motorcycle ride in East
• the opening scene of Lunch with the man and woman wanting to talk to each other
• anything from Dog
• Mrs Burnster in The Trial
• the finale of Tell Tale Heart
• the opening scene of Tell Tale Heart where he explains that he is not mad (Berkoff acting, who cares who wrote the actual words)
• demonstrating cloth selling in Kvetch
• Mum in the cinema in East
• the lodgers´ scene from Metamorphosis
• the eating scene in Decadence

• fox hunting from Decadence
• Hal's imagined dinner party in Kvetch
• East, Dinner scene, Monologue by the father
• the first exchange with Huld in The Trial
• the first scene in East
• I am rehearsing Greek here in Curitiba, Brazil. And have moments of total passion for all the scenes of the play
• Mum's experience in the cinema in East
• the cafe scene in Greek
• Mum's Lament in East

• Judas running and betraying in Messiah
• Gregor crawling out of his room in Metamorphosis
• Dad reminiscing about the old days in East
• Sylv's longing speech- East
• the c*nt speech and mums experience in the cinema. East is a work of art, I have never laughed so much in my life. It is a timeless classic, relevant to anyone
• When mother and Greta finally give up Gregor, very touching, from Metamorphosis
• I would really like Steven Berkoff to publish his play Berkoff's Women it has been an inspiration throughout my final year of a drama degree and would let me end my degree with a fantastic piece from an established and wonderful writer
• the horse and jockey scene from Decadence
• Was it Berkoff I saw in Salome in Scotland many years ago, 1989 I think? I still see him walking down stage, and hear his voice. It was unforgettable
• star of Decadence

• when the mother died
• when Eddie confronts the sphinx in Greek
• fox hunting scene Decadence
• anything in Metamorphosis
• in Kvetch when Frank is fantasising about Hal. And the c*nt shit speech in East!
• Donna's "I want to be raped" monologue, pure genius (Kvetch)
• "Leave me in Peace" Gregor´s scream in Metamorphosis
• the entire Shakespeare's Villains, which I just saw here in New York and will see again next week. I've only seen one other, Salome, in London, and was very struck by that, too. Anyhow, the best scene in Villains are not scenes but his wry and witty comments all through. As I told him after the performance, "You are the greatest living actor." Nobody could do what he did in that play
• Satan's monologue from Messiah
• mum's cinema experience - East

• Mike and Les - motorbike scene -East
• Helen fox hunting in Decadence
• the motorbike scene in East...blatantly!
• Cafe scene in Greek, fight between Manager and Eddy, in a production at the mo, where we are having the two men waltzing together as they fight with words. Its really effective
• the opening lines of Massage. I'm a student directing it in Perth, Australia and those first few lines, and the reaction of whoever's around never fails to bring a smile to my face
• the hunting scene in Decadence
• the Chief Clerk in the beginning of Metamorphosis
• Metamorphosis is GREAT! The best part is where Gregor dies....very emotive
• "Like a dog", The Trial
• too many to choose from
   
• Sylv´s longing speech. I am doing this for my a level performance very good but very challenging
• I love the dance sequence between Madeline and Usher in his adaptation of The Fall of the House of Usher
• all of Harry's Christmas
• why slag Brighton?? I fink it's f**kin' amazing
• it's gotta be the old cinema scene (East)- always gets the best audience reaction - eugh!
• I could go on about East, but I also rate the cafe scene in Greek
• all of Lunch, and Woman's last long monologue
• the c*nt mime
• the cafe fight in Greek
• so many.....I couldn't choose one
   
• Satan's monologue - Messiah
• Titorelli in The Trial
• Sylv's longing speech - East
• Judas' monologue in Messiah
• mum in the cinema - East
• where Gregor as an insect crawls round his room (Metamorphosis)
• the Cafe scene in Greek
• Mary's monologue in The Messiah
• the devils scene in Messiah. Absolutely an amazing performance, I feel the whole performance was too long but I loved it
• the cafe fight in Greek
   
• Iago in Shakespeare's Villains
• the opening scene of East
• East motorbike
• all of East. And Berkoff's Women with Linda Marlowe was fantastic, seen it twice and it just got better
• Satan's monologue from Messiah
• Agamemnon-Clytemnestra's speech after Agamemnon's death
• Satan's Monologue (Messiah)
• the man kissing his pitbull's entire alimentary canal. Well, that's business, really, not a scene, but it's genius (Dog)
• gay fantasy scene in Kvetch
• Miss Burstner/Titorelli The Trial.  At first glance I found The Trial (that I'm doing for my A' level piece) strange and until I read deeper into the book and began to understand Berkoff better I didn't realise what genius the play is based around!! All of Metamorphosis is great, but as a young actor is very difficult to perfect the image of a beetle when you have so little resources or time
   
• Dad's final speech from Greek
• to show the abstract not the naturalist
• in Metamorphosis when Mr Samsa is doing the whipping scene
• Satan in Messiah! No contest
• anything from Decadence
• fox hunting in Decadence. I love Berkoff.  Is there anyone who could come near to his genius?
• the mime sequences in Ophelia
• Block in The Trial. I played Block and Titorelli for A level and whilst Block can get the laughs, he is   treated so badly by the cast that when I came off stage I felt really bad for the poor little animal!! He left me exhausted in every possible sense of the word. Titorelli however drives and drives so I have no time to feel tired!
• I think the one that sticks in my mind is when Mr Samsa throws the apple at Gregor´s back which eventually kills him. After being influenced by Lecoq and Artoir, does Berkoff admire and take ideas from modern day artists? And also, how easy does Berkoff find, using all three art forms to support each other?
• Gregor, father, mother, Greta and the Chief Clerk scene (when they are hanging around the door) in Metamorphosis. I  think that this man deserves recognition for the work that he has done for the performing arts community!
   
• Satan in Messiah.  Messiah was the best play I have ever seen
• Metamorphosis at the beginning
• I just saw 'West' by Enfants Terrible at The  Space in London and, from that production, I particularly liked the father getting a blow job from the microphone. This scene may not have appeared in the same way in other productions - I don't know
• 'roll the dice' from Messiah PERFECT!!!
• Clytemnestra Speech to Agamemnon
• the sphinx scene in Greek
• Titorelli in The Trial
• the apple scene in Metamorphosis
• the Sphinx scene and the Cafe scene in Greek
• in Metamorphosis when gregor samsa has the visit from the somewhat bizzare clerk
   
• the legend of the curse at the beginning of Agamemnon
• Sylv in East monologue. the one that starts "I for once would like to be a fella".  I love the use of crude language the way it is used to shock
• two: 1. The dream sequence in Metamorphosis.  2. The ending of The Trial. Recently did the Trial for GCSE, and am doing Metamorphosis for AS level. Berkoff is so cool!
• any scene in Greek.  Greek is wonderful!
• the motorbike scene in East. I performed it as Les this morning and it was so much fun! Mike's c*nt speech is also a work of genius
• the final scene of Ritual in Blood - it's so powerful and utterly moving
• pearl and sid scene
• Mum's Lament scene in East and Les's C*nt speech in East
• Metamorphosis- Gregor is noticed for the first time by the lodgers and is called many a names yet only Greta and mother stick up for him
• the opening scene if The Trial, I was in it and thought it was a fantastic scene to perform. I also directed it and had great fun!
   
• Brighton Beach Scumbags - the whole thing it's amazing, it may be easy to work out but what is so wrong with that? have a sense of humour
• the sphinx scene in Greek!
• "Laurence, give me a chance!!!" in Shakespeare's Villains
• Les' monologue on the clothes shop in East - very underrated character by many but potent and very powerful
• just all of Dog! or explaining the curse in Agamemnon, or the going out scene in Decadence.  I  really like Berkoff! his style is unique and spontaneous
• has to be Satan's monologue...so powerful and physical (Messiah)
• Gregor's dream sequence in Metamorphosis but for comic value when he picks up his mum to kiss her in Dog
• dinah and derek are reminiscing about the past when they remember the isolated turd that floated past dinahs ear (Brighton Beach Scumbags)
• Motorbike scene - East, c*nt speech - East, opening scene - East, mums cinema experience - East, 'hallo darlin' speech - East ...ANYTHING from East
• opening scene of East
   
• the best scene has to be when Gregor is chased by Mr S only to have Mr S throw an apple in him. It is a vivid illustration for the audience just how dehumanised the family as opposed to Gregor (Metamorphosis)
• I think in the Messiah, the best scene was scene six where Jesus gets up from being crucified and then says to the disciples, "How'd it go tonight" I thought it was hilarious, absolutely fantasmic!
• maybe the opening scene in Lunch...
• in Greek, Eddy havin' a go at the sphinx.  Brilliant site, keep up good work
• Metamorphosis apple
• the motorcycle ride in East. East was wicked, really enjoyed watchin it! It was different hadnt seen a performance like East before which made it interesting to watch
• the beetle scene in Metamorphosis
• I love the restaurant scene in Decadence!
• the cafe scene in Lunch or the scene in Massage when he first approaches the prostitute - spanish, greek bla bla
• I saw you in Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hill's Cop. Your voice is great and the way you act. I am glad I looked your name up on the internet to learn so much more about you and especially glad that you have cassettes and plays when I'm able to enjoy. Just wanted to say I'm glad this information is available and look forward to seeing your body of work. God Bless
   
• the opening of East
• Steve and Helen in the restaurant before they leave. Decadence
• Eddy final speech in Greek or the Mike and Sylv battle in scene 6 of East. I have played Mike, Eddy, Derek in Brighton Beach Scumbags, Gregor and Joseph K in The Trial. I love Berkoff, his writing is genius but it's really in the performance that it all makes sense and comes to life. Great site
• I like it when Sylv says she wants to be a fella, " I for once would like to be a fella", she expresses herself so well and everyone in some way would agree with her
• Satan's monologue in Messiah
• woman's monologue in Lunch - or it will be when I do it!!
• I'm biased...a small scene in Brighton Beach Scumbags when the two couples are on the beach eating hamburgers
• the expiration of Usher's life in The Fall of the House of Usher
• Metamorphosis: The introduction
• Titorelli in The Trial, when performed by Berkoff, is one of the best scenes ever
• Helena's monologue from Agamemnon
• the tube scene in West

• guard one and two stepping through the screens in The Trial
• "Leave me in Peace" Gregor´s scream in Metamorphosis
• im studying metamorophosis @ college @ the moment and i wud jst like 2 say that it is a very weird but fasanating play
• Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight? In Kvetch
• the entrance of the inspector in The Trial
• the opening of Metamorphosis
• Linda and Steve in Dahling you were marvelous
• the lodger´s scene from Metamorphosis
• Wow wow and wow. I did Metamorphosis for gcse this term. I was going to do a national diploma in film studies at college but now I am looking at an A-level drama too as Berkoff has really shown how the theatre does not end with just characters and the edge of the stage. I had been doing drama for over eight years but only now have I managed to find physical theatre which to me, makes it new and exciting all over again.  Thanks very very very much. I'm researching into all the plays I have not yet seen now of Berkoff's work (just polished off East, The Trial, In the Penal Colony, Tale Tale Heart) and the whole world of physical theatre which I hardly knew existed
• the terrified cockroach scurrying over furniture in Metamorphosis - insect fingers tapping an insistent staccato rhythm, eyes turning, nowhere to turn...I can still see him, 25 years later
   
• the whole of Agamemnon. It is absolutely amazing
• the reflection of Gregor's past in Metamorphosis
• The Trial is crap and should never be done by A2 students!  It has made our life hell and we hate Berkoff because of it and he cant write plays to save his bloody pointless life!
• the motorcycle scene from East, Gregor's awakening in Metamorphosis, the opening of Greek ( I was spawned in tufnil park-classic Berkoff)
• the scene in Metamorphosis when the family makes up the beetle's movements when backlit... very effective... now studying it for GCSE Drama and I think Berkoff is really really fascinating
• the opening speech by Joseph K in The Trial  Berkoff is great. And he lived in Luton for a while which is where I live
• Linda and Steve
• I love the play Dahling you were Marvelous, it is marvelous!!
• Clytemnestra's fire speech in Agamemnon
• I am rehearsing for a performance of Agamemnon in New Zealand and am playing Clytemnestra.  As an actress it is the most challenging and rewarding role I've ever done!
   
• fairground Scene in East
• definitely the motorbike scene in East- and who ever said that Berkoff "can't write plays to save his bloody pointless life"- this site and the fact that good comments far outweigh the bad proves that- u mustve bin a crap actor if you couldn't make it good!!  Damn good site here- helped me loads with a college assignment!! Thanx!
• the scene in Metamorphosis when Berkoff hangs upside down and falls from a great height to show how Gregor Samsa feels and how he reacts to the tumble.  His facial features show us how much agony Gregor (the beetle) is in
• how can Berkoff inflict so much pain on himself?
• Gregors Death in Metamorphosis
• the Sphinx scene in Greek
• Berkoff's Greek is incredible. His creation of Eddy, a character based upon himself, is Berkoff at his unbelievable best!
• lodgers in Metamorphosis
• the dung beetle in Metamorphosis.  I loved Metamorphosis it was really interesting and had a very unusual storyline
• the plague scene in Greek
   
• the feast scene in Decadence
• The Fall of the House of Usher
• the motorbike scene in East
• the whole of Titorelli in The Trial.  Great Site! -
• 'Apple for you Gregor' from Metamorphosis, 'Fox Hunting' from Decadence
• motorbike scene in East
• as Satan in Messiah
• the motorbike scene in East.  Sylv's Lament - also in Eart. Great site.
  
   

• Midnight in Trafalgar Square during the five year non-stop picket of the South African embassy to free Nelson Mandela
• The Tony Blair story
• Pincher Martin by William Golding done as a monologue
• on the dramatic and personal times of the trenches
• the supernatural
• an all woman play
• a play about the rehearsals of an amateur performance of East, where the cast and director don't really understand the play and start simplifying it. It ends with the triumphant reviews: "really brought out the true meaning...", "made sense of an obscure.." etc
• an adaptation of Yukio Mishima´s The Temple of the Golden Pavilion
• Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin
• the Bill Clinton scandal done if he was a Cockney, set in London
   
• a frustrated actor kidnaps a director to prove he can act, and ties him to a chair while he performs at him
• drama teachers with the same name as camp hair dresser rebel against people who hate physical theatre
• getting older/losing sexual prowess
• behind the scene look at the real Catholic church, drunk vicars, the use of prostitutes and all the usual stereotypes!!!
• a short play about greed with men eating and gorging themselves to death in an orgy of gourmet food, a competition if you like!
• an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet
• Portray how the media alters the minds of different people in society through the way they produce it, e.g. news production, how it is constructed to produce a biased message
• An adaptation of Dante's Inferno
• the tale of Berkoff´s childhood
• solitude and hope at the century end or century beginning
   
• Cockneys on Mars
• an adaptation of Electra
• I do like the idea of the Tony Blair and Bill Clinton stories
• schizophrenia
• How Women Work: it might throw so light on the subject, he's easier to understand than any woman
• sex, drugs, prostitution, pimps, murder, burglary
• Berkoff joins the Yiddish theatre
• another history/ myth like Messiah
• Prisoner in Rio the way he would have done it
• the Kray twins each in separate prisons
   
• Catholic church stuff, students of today, Royal Family satire
• teaching could be portrayed very expressionistically
• a new version of East with Ann Widdecombe as dad, William Hague as mum, Keith Vaz and Peter Mandelson as Les and Mike and Cherie Blair as Sylv
• a deeper exploration of actor's lives. Steven Berkoff is the master of physical theatre
• witchcraft, circus
• prisoners!!
• cocaine junkies
• the life of Laura Desmond
• racism not viewed nearly enough
• I'm not really sure. Sounds vague but I would like to see a production which was classic, old school Berkoff, as I wasn't even born when his work was at it's prime
   
• Spurt of Blood by Artaud
• counselling/psychotherapy in the modern world - that's what I am studying at the moment and all the videos we get to see are SO ancient. I would like to see Berkoff T shirts diaries etc as it would solve my Christmas present dilemma each year. And I would like to be able to order say, a life size cardboard Berkoff from any play/film (what's that...do I hear a groan from Steven? sorry I know it's plebish) Oh yes, I'd like to be able to buy all his plays - how about it! As you can tell, he is my hero. He should have been a counsellor/therapist but I suppose in a way, he is
• physical manifestations of disability
• H. R. Giger - a physical interpretation!
• racism, vulgar, class, different peoples attitude toward each other, rivalry, love, hatred, wealth, fashion, actors lives, etc
• he should do a play on the devil like he did in The Messiah. It was an amazing scene to watch
• he's very good at talking of real life events.  Possibly A Dolls House by Ibsen
• why teenagers rebel
• One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest adaptation
• an adaptation of Wuthering Heights
   
• Messiah featuring Bin Laden....
• teaching physical theatre to people brought up on naturalism
• definitely the gap between naturalism and physical theatre. An interpretation of H.R Giger would be awesome
• a stage version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh go on steve!
• I Cyclops, Homer's Odyssey and Gladiator
• robots with more feelings than humans
• the after-effects of the Decedent 1980's
• anything he feels is right to portray
• homosexuality
• himself
   
• something to do with space. A really surreal piece about aliens! But in true Berkoff style! Not like what's been done before!
• amnesia
• Safety Last, Das Klown

• something which involves current issues.  Berkoff is the best at grabbing the audiences attention. We did The Trial for our GCSE Drama practical and we really liked it

• something geeky!
• I don't believe we should influence Berkoff´s artistic choice
• His Life, maybe?
• a tale of a student who believes that his life is normal until one day he realises when he dreams it is his real life
• The Duchess of Malfi (I'm having a bugger of a time trying to "Berkovise" it myself !)
• Berkoff Down Under, his experiences in Australia
   
• anything that is distinctly berkoffian in every way possible
• cloned humans - something using A LOT of physicality!
• a comedy
• paedophilia? A monologue inside the brain of a paedophile
• his "relationship" with Nicholas de Jongh
• Alice in Wonderland - repression, normalistic ideals being shattered subconsciously
• anything about rock n roll
• King Arthur and his knights
• a day in the life of a scouser
• the fire Brigade strikes. Loads of chances for physical work
   
• I think he should touch on the allegorical tale of the 'Life of Pi' by Yann Martel. Would be another very good adaptation
• man mental involved with prostitute...  a really sick and twisted domestic violence family......
• the Life and Times of Iggy Pop
• love, jealousy, revenge, death, irony, girls gettin exploited, domestic violence women and men!
• Tony Blair vs Gordon Brown (very grotesque)
• more of the Thatcher years or possibly the 'winter of discontent'
• a play about African warlords
• a day in the life of a drama student
• George Bush junior
• I think you should do something about animals, the movement of an animal can be so expressive and is a lot delicate than a humans. just an idea.  I like your work keep it up!
   
• Buddha; he did an expose on Christ and if he did that, then he can certainly do an Albert Goldman on eastern religions, beginning alphabetically with our friend Buddha
• inside the Prison Service
• child to OAP [Old Age pensioner, an elderly person] with one actor, one ordinary (or maybe extraordinary) life, from beginning to end with all the highs and the lows

• gangster paradise
• definitely Alice in Wonderland that would be amazing
• beauty
• behind the scene look at the real Catholic church, drunk vicars, the use of prostitutes and all the usual stereotypes!!! or maybe cloned humans - something using A LOT of physicality!  That looks pretty good but so does all of it. I think maybe a really dark play involving maybe drugs would be good - Berkoff could really show great scenes of hallucination etc with his style
• I'd quite like to see a contemporary play written by Berkoff. Something meaty like Sarah Kane's Crave.  I'm directing a play using Berkoff and Artaud as my two technicians.  I love the theatre of cruelty, attacking the senses.  How can I create a feeling for the audience that makes them shiver at the spine, without actually being near them, and making them feel uncomfortable with just the presence of the actor?
• a stage adaptation of Kill Bill
• a play about the futile life of a fly- so clique-so bekoffian
• Myra Hindley or Fred West- a chance to explore the subconscious depravity
• the life of Aleister Crowley
• anything Greek!
   
• cloning, gene modification or DNA manipulation
• I agree- Blair v Brown! That would be cool!! Obviously would have to be very stylised to make it even funnier!
• he should stick with films/plays that have unhumanating experiences
• oppression of Gender in Society
• terrorism
• a musical
• the celebrity-obsessed culture
• a comedy yet typically berkovian satirical look at Britain's mentality to follow everything America does
• getting into the mind of little girls
• Neverland - the true story, or something to do with Yorkshire (I'd love to see his take on that)
   
• God/Religion/Terrorism
• the 'Pepsi' generation: Britney, Christina, Beyonce, Paris et al
• a sort of biopic. Inside the mind of Antonin Artaud -
• Chaos Theory
• something by Catherine Cookson

Worst subject for a new Steven Berkoff play

• North
• South
• an adaptation of The Importance of Being Ernest transposed to London
• The Jeffrey Archer Story
• a play surrounding the holocaust
• romance
• a collaboration with Andrew Lloyd Webber
• a children's panto done in iambic verse/ East London slang
• anything by Dickens
• anything seriously political - or religious
• the death of Diana
• the William Hague story
• the Stephen Lawrence murder
   
• any subject can serve as pretext for skilled hands
• anything about tap dance / Fosse or the Vietnam war
• anything about Hollywood
• the Steven Hawking Story
• the acting profession should not be tackled again
• himself
• I think he could probably pull off just about anything
• Alan Bennett's villains
• a comedy (as distinct from tragedy etc with comic scenes)
• the Diana story
   
• the worst subjects Berkoff could ever do, in my opinion, would also be the best, as he is the one man who can make the worst, unmentionable topics both humorous and shocking. After all what should society do? Hide the things they find intolerable? Surely if Berkoff has taught us anything it is that this behaviour is unacceptable
• anything starring Janet Street Porter
• Ken Livingstone's pigeon cull
• homosexuality it so boring nowadays
• I went to see Secret Love Life Of Ophelia and did not rate it at all. Leave Shakespeare to Shakespeare
• kitchen sink drama
• there are none
• Berkoff´s Animals
• Riverdance. The only way he gets away with the ego he has is through his unbelievable talent for telling stories. Otherwise, he's quite a poes!
• A Doll's House - the best piece of theatre writing in existence! Fantastic man, fantastic plays. I did Sphinx for my A-Level Theatre Studies practical exam monologue and got top band for it! Berkoff is my hero, keep up the good work!
   
• nothing, he should anything that he think is right. I think he's soo great
• stories that people already know
• anything Messiah related, or Hi De Hi, the total theatre version starring Ruth Madoc, Su Pollard and Paul Shane
• nothing that includes a restaurant scene- overdone
• 007... Bond meets Broadway
• anything too close to the nations heart, he's liable to offend those not educated in Berkovian theatre
• to completely avoid anything to do with the situation in the middle east
• probably that buffy idea (see best subject above)
• parlour room drama
• Sept 11
   
• anything that would damage his amazing career
• anything that has been done before. Original theatre is leading the way and Berkoff is one of the true geniuses who can take a surreal story and make it into a play
• dogs and their lives.  Why does Steven Berkoff create such manic scenes and what does it bring to the action?
• Madonna
• Free Willy
• "I'll Get You, Braddock!" - the return of the Russian villain from 'Missing in Action 3.' Chuck Norris V. Steven Berkoff the rematch.  Living in Brighton I often see Steven in the Lanes. I long to creep up behind him and mutter the immortal lines!!!
• Sept 11
• a musical, especially not one involving household pets
• a play about a boy that wakes up one morning and discovers that he has turned into a man!!!!
• west again
   
• Michael Jackson
• war
• any well known disasters such as deaths, September 11th etc. they could not possibly be funny. Anything naturalistic
• anything about death
• David Blaine and his experience in a glass box
• any more American crap
• Cabaret
• Erm... a cheap romance
• reality shows
• the life of Margaret Thatcher
   
• anything that is irrelevant and inappropriate (sorry it's vague!)
• inside the mind of a soap actor
• Tony Blair
• any more stuff involving Judaism or Jesus; let's face it, man, Berkoff did two on Judaism and one on Jesus, he has effectively killed these particular subjects

• a musical based on the Bay City Rollers
• the psychological problems facing a virginal midget 60 year old
• please don't do Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  I love West !!!!!!!!!!
• Victorian themes
• Sci-fi as the work is good enough without the need to explain why its so surreal. Also sci fi is a real common cheap way (imho) to approach surrealism
• naturalism plays. not my cup of tea
• a stage adaptation of Harry Potter
• the life and lust of Anne Widdecombe
• a partnership with Julie Burchill
• Big flippin Brother- please don't encourage Channel 4 to do another series!!
   
• romance
• never do a Panto
• Bush America
• pantomine
• anything resembling a Lloyd Webber or a teen movie
• physical construction of any thing. It should all be emotional
• 7/7 London Bombings, Royal Family, anything 'Paris Hilton-esque'
• cloning, suicide
• Welsh independence -
• anything about actors
• anything that requires a performer to say 'slaaaaaaag' in a Cockney drawl